Life…

Posted in Weightloss Journey on August 28, 2011 by Donna

Well the past couple of days have been absolutely crazy! There have been many changes to our household, including the one where my 16-year-old niece has come to live with us. So going to pick up her, getting her settled and trying to figure out how to get her enrolled in school here has been time-consuming this weekend. Also not sure how many know that I actually work two jobs, so in between all of this and normal activities, there has been no time! But isn’t that story of most of the people in the world. On top of everything else, I forgot to take my medicine 2 days this week, so my legs are extremely swollen and while it is painful, it definitely doesn’t help me out on the scale. So I have decided to wait a few days to try to get the swelling back under control, then I will attempt a weigh-in. Anyway, I have a house to clean this morning and an office to clean out, trying to figure out where to put all of that stuff?! Oh well hope everyone has a blessed Sunday!!

Advertisements

Busy Busy Busy

Posted in Weightloss Journey on August 25, 2011 by Donna

The past two days have been extremely hectic and I am afraid that tomorrow won’t be any better! Yesterday we ran around all evening just trying to get everything for Mackenzie to go back to school. Hey at least my workout consisted on a lot of walking! K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Office Max, Office Depot and Toys R Us! But somehow we managed to get everything she needed and today was her first day of 5th grade! Once I got home this evening, it was dinner, baths, and of course the first day papers that have to be filled out! So now I am trying to figure out exactly what I need to be doing. I know I have work I need to get done, but then again its 15 minutes till 10 and its a Thursday, so it Jersey Shore time!!! I so wish I had a treadmill or a  bike here so I could do that while watching TV or something! Then there is tomorrow, which is Mackenzie’s 10th birthday!! It’s so hard to believe that she will be 10, where has the time gone? Hopefully on Saturday morning, i will get to weigh and see how I have done! I will post more then! As for now I need a get a few things done for work! The good thing is that even with how busy I have been I am still watching what I eat as well as trying to get all my water in for the day! Anyway, I will post more later….Have a good one everybody!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Posted in Weightloss Journey on August 23, 2011 by Donna

Today has been a good day and I  have done well! Still don’t have the amount of water drank, but I am working on it! I did my Biggest Loser for Kinect this evening, so now I am trying to relax and get a little bit of work finished up! You know I have been doing a lot of thinking honestly trying to figure out where all of this started! I mean looking back when I was about 3, all of the pictures show this very small petite little girl, yet as you look through the years as I got older the heavier I got. I know that when I was little I would run from my house to my grandparents house to my great grandparents house, and I would eat something at each place! Maybe that was it! But now if you ask someone who is around me, I don’t eat nearly as much as someone much smaller than I am. I know that I have thyroid issues and such, but seriously? But these are the types of things I have ended up using as my excuses for so many years and I just have to keep reminding myself that it is up to me and only I can do this. I have been reading some blogs here lately and I read an excerpt from Ruby’s book and it was talking about that if God ask today if I could go back and do it all again, if he gave me the choice to be fat or thin which would I choose. She said that she would choose fat! When I first started reading that I was like WHAT??? I mean come on now, who would honestly chooses to be fat?? I sure as heck wouldn’t choose that. I have watched people my entire life who could do anything they wanted, but chose not to. Maybe they would if they had any idea the way it would feel if they couldn’t. Some of the simplest things in life are things I have never been able to do! It is hard to explain to someone who has never been overweight what it is like to walk into a restaurant, a movie theater, a concert, or even for an interview and worry if the chairs have arms, will I fit! I have been embarrassed more than I would ever like to admit over situations as simple this. But in Ruby’s book she went on to tell why she felt that way, and it was because of her weight that she had been able to honestly see the beauty this world has to offer, she was able to see people for who they really are, and had the privilege to never take anything for granted! That spoke volumes to me, because I have never chosen to look at it that way. Because all I have ever been able to see is the cruel looks, or hear the mean remarks that people say. I have had people shun me before they even took the time to speak to me! The last couple of years I feel like I have basically became a hermit, never leaving home, simply because I didn’t want to cause myself or my family embarrassment! Mackenzie, my daughter, has asked me multiple occasions to come to her school for lunch or some function they were having and I would tell her I couldn’t because I didn’t want the kids to tease her because of me! This has happened as recently as today!! Today was Open House at her school and I had Jimmy to go with her! I want to do all of those things with her. I am watching her grow up and I am missing out on so much of her life because of my weight!! I know I need to do this for me, but I am also doing this for them, Mackenzie and Jimmy. Because it is not fair for them to have to wait around on me, they should be living there lives without having to deal with limitations of mine! I will keep trucking along out of hopes that one day I will be able to live the life I want for me and for them! Because I have sat on the sidelines long enough…….

Monday – August 22, 2011

Posted in Weightloss Journey on August 22, 2011 by Donna

I am not an extravagant person, nor would I even call myself outgoing! I am a person who had completely given up on life and was content to watch as life passed me by! That was until 4 weeks ago! I have been talking and dreaming for the past couple of years of what it would be like not to have to carry this weight around with me, yet even though I knew how unhappy I was I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt defeated simply at the thought of it. I think my biggest question was always how is it that I could conquer anything I set my mind to, yet I couldn’t even wrap my mind around trying to lose weight. I could find lots of excuses as to how I got this big, yet that is all they are is excuses! The one thing I know right now is in 4 days my daughter will turn 10 years old and if I don’t do something now I won’t be here to see her turn 15, or heck I may not even be here to see her turn 11. How is that? How is it that at the age of 32, I have allowed myself to get into a situation that is completely in my control that could be a life or death matter? These are questions that as of right now I still don’t know the answer to, but I hope that somewhere along this journey I will find them. I have to take this one day at a time, one pound at a time. I can’t look at the big picture yet, because that seems to daunting. As of Thursday, August 11, 2011 I had lost 18 pounds. To say the least I was surprised and felt so motivated to keep going. Yet for some reason the past two weeks have flown by and I have made a million wrong decisions. In two days I am supposed to weigh again, yet I am afraid. What if I have gained back what I lost? So that is why I am starting this. I need to be held accountable! So I hope if you decide to read this, that you will leave comments. If they are negative though just please move on and spare me! I am my own worst critic. I will attempt to post to here daily and I will be posting my weight loss along the way.

MY GOALS

1. To Be Happy and Healthy!

2. To Be A Better Mother and Role Model For My Daughter!

3. To Simply LIVE!

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.